I'm Back and swimsuit hell!!

Well, after a few days resting in the country at our farmhouse on this wonderful Memorial Day weekend, I have come back with a new outlook on life. The personal business at work that has been getting me down seems so much smaller in the whole world of problems other people face. It comes down to, it's not that they are personally attacking me, it is just business. I only have four more days left of work before summer!! Yeah!! I meet with my principal tomorrow to discuss some issues I am having. Hopefully she will stay professional and not get all ghetto on me. Hopefully.

So, my title also says swimsuit hell. I was also there this weekend. Since signing up at the YMCA I have felt my old self coming back from w hen I first started this journey. Must be all the exercise highs ive been getting. Well, I decided to start swimming at the gym. They have an indoor swimming pool that has roped off lanes for swimmers. I went to our local Walmart to get me swimsuit because they are pretty cheap. Big mistake! I remember when I used to buy the smallest bikini in the world and prance around all of the boys. Now, I don't even want my hubby to see my fat rolls in a one piece. He will have to see it though to take a before photo and then hopefully at the end of July you can see a difference.

Confession: I drank waaaaayyyy too many Dr. Peppers this weekend and hardly any water.

Cheer: I skipped out on cake and just had fresh strawberries and reduced fat cool whip for dessert last night. My food intake could have been worst this weekend.

Problems

Having some personal problems at work. Not too happy right now, but I am slowly seeing the light on a few people. I will post more when I get home from work today! Summer is just half a week away!! LOL

YMCA 3

So, today I was only able to get in 20 minutes on the Elliptical. My hubby met us there after he got off of work and didn't come in workout clothes! So, I didn't want him to just stand around and wait. I gave him a tour of the place and he didn't seem too interested. He is pretty happy where he is right now body wise, so he really didn't see anything he would want to do there. I told him he could meet us there on Monday and Tuesdays during the summer and lift some weights or something. Wednesday and Thursday I will go at like 12:15 for a class! I think this sounds reasonable. On Sunday I want to do my swimming right after church when there aren't a ton of people there.

Thanks to everyone saying how thin I was looking. I don't think so. I hate photos. My brother even said I was looking good. I still feel like a whale. I remember what I used to look like and this is not it. When will I get over this? I don't want to become obsessive, but I do want to be able to see a difference in my face after the summer is over.

Confession: I ate one of my sons pop-tarts after dinner because I was craving something sweet.

Cheer: I brought a change of clothes to work so I wouldn't have an excuse to not go to the gym!!

Day 2 of YMCA

So, today after church I came home and changed into my workout gear. My 4 year old got really excited because he loves going to play at the kiddy area. Which is great for me because then I dont feel so guilty dropping them off for some me time.

I did 30 minutes on the elliptical starting off at 8 incline and 3 resistance. I did the last 5 minutes of the 30 at a 10 incline and 5 resistance. It felt soooo good!! I was sweating sooo bad!!! I could just feel and see the sweat dripping off of me. I looked like a crazy lady with my hair all wet. I was so happy with myself=)

I also did 15 minutes on the treadmill. I walked at a 3.5 pace. It was quick enough to get my heart pumping, but I am not confident enough to jog in front of everyone yet. I did run for about 2 minutes, but I think my 30 minute elliptical had me pretty wiped out.

Before the gym I wanted to eat something light because it was already 11:30. I headed out with the boys to Chick-fil-a and then I realized that they are closed on Sundays. My son wanted to play on the playground at McDonalds but I really didn't want to eat crap. Crazy huh? When you start doing something good for your body, you don't crave the greasy food!! I took him there and only nibbled on a french fry or two. I didn't enjoy it at all.

I am a little nervous about swimming at the gym. They have an indoor olympic size pool with lanes roped off for swimmers. I haven't worn a bathing suit in a loooong time. Even when I was super skinny, I always wore shorts to cover up some scars on my upper legs. I noticed that there were other swimmers who were bigger than me just walking around in their suits. They looked so confidant. We will see.

A question: Is swimming something I could do to see results on the scale? I heard it is the best workout. What do you guys think?

Confession: I went and got a coconut snowcone after my workout. It was so nice on a hot summer day!

Cheer: I worked my butt off today and didn't go crazy on food!! I can't wait to go back tomorrow!!

Two great days...and pictures!!

Update on the YMCA: I LOVED it!!! I had such a fantastic time at the gym. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and tried out some leg machines. The man (cute by the way) who worked there was very nice and showed me around. I almost left because I didn't know I was supposed to bring a lock for the lockers, but the sweet ladies who keep the kiddos was nice enough to keep my purse behind her desk. I sweat my butt off!! I can't wait to go back tomorrow and my kiddos loved it to!

Today: I went to visit my mother since the hubby is out of town this weekend. She lives about 45 minutes away. It's nice to get to see her every now and again and she always takes me and the kiddos somewhere special. Today she took us to Galveston, TX and we went and ate at a place called The Rainforest Cafe. It is a cute eating place where they have mechanical animals that make noise and it is fun. The kiddos had a great time. We then went to a place called Moody Gardens where they have pyramids full of plants and butterflies and they even have an aquarium full of fish. We had a great time.

Friday: We had a carnival at our school to celebrate the end of the year and I was in the dunking booth!! It was a ton of fun and the students had a blast watching me fall in the water. It felt good knowing that I was fit enough to climb back up onto the seat from the water.

Basketball game: I have already talked about the teacher student basketball game I was in, but now I have a picture to prove it! LOL It felt so good to run up and down the court. I really felt like I was a part of something and the students had a blast. Hopefully next year I might actually make a basket! LOL

Confession: I have nothing to confess!! I have done nothing in the last few days that I am ashamed of!!!

Cheer: I went to the gym and I also got a ton of exercise pushing the stroller today! I also haven't eaten anything crappy in two days!!

Good News!!!

I have some fantastic news!!! No, I'm not pregnant! LOL

My kiddos and I went after work today to sign up at the local YMCA!! They have a fantastic swimming lesson program for my 4 year old, so I convinced my husband to go and join so he can learn how to swim! I am so freakin excited!!

The place by my house (like a 5 min drive) just recently gotten added on to and renovated and it looked so nice and clean! The play area for the kids looked fantastic and there even was a woman on the floor playing with the babies (I have a 10 month old). Donnie Ray was so excited that he was jumping up and down!!

This is exactly what I needed this summer to get back in the game. Since I am a teacher I have the summers off and this will be great when the kiddos are driving me crazy!! They offer classes all day all summer long!! I will post pictures of my first day tomorrow when I get home from work!!

Confession: I didn't workout this morning. I am still feeling a little under the weather.

Cheer: Instead of heading to the fast food tonight for food (hubby out of town) I stopped by Kroger and picked up something more healthier!! I can't eat crap if I am going to be a gym bunny!! LOL

TMI Alert!!!

Okay, so this is your only warning! This post contains information about my bodily fluids. LOL

Alright, so if you are still reading this, you obviously do not care hearing about my bodily functions. LOL

Last night I told you that I had eaten McDonalds for dinner. Well, I think my body hated me for it because last night my stomach felt like it was going to explode! I didn't know if I should throw up or sit on the toilet all night. It eventually went away...until this morning. I got up early to workout and so I started doing my workout video that I enjoy so much (Bollywood Booty) and about 10 minutes in my stomach started making noise. I ended up stopping the video and spending the next 5 minutes on the toilet. It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. When I thought it was over, I was wrong and would have to sit back down.

Not only that, but I feel like my body is seeping out grease. I washed my hands like 50 times last night because they felt so nasty.

I told my husband last night in horrible pain....NO MORE FASTFOOD!! My body does not want it!!

So, I am leaving early this morning to stop by our local Kroger to stock up on fruits, veggies, and a couple bottles of water. I need a detox day after what I went through this morning. LOL

Confession: I didn't make up the time working out that I spent on the toilet.

Cheer: I woke up early this morning and I am feeling better already! I was always in a better mood when I gave my body time to wake up before heading of to work.

Plan

I need to make a plan and stick to it. That is what I need to do.

Tomorrow my plan is to wake up early and workout, drink all of my water, and say no to sugar.

Let's see if I can do that.

I noticed that I felt better and fresher when I was feeding my body good foods and was working it out. It liked me. I was in a better mood and my hubby and I had a little schoolhouse crush on each other again.

No more crap. I HAVE to get better. I HAVE to get out of this depression. I HAVE to.

Confession: We had McDonalds for dinner.

Cheer: I have ordered a salad at lunch the past two days. I still haven't given up on myself! And my size 10 pants are starting to get loose!

Diet.com YouTube Weight Loss Challenge Winner

The thing that stood out in this video for me was when she said "I didn't think I was worth it." What happens if I lose the weight and I still feel unatractive? What if my life is still a crazy mess? What is my hosue is still a disaster? Then I can't blame it on the weight. I can only blame it on myself.

Bad morning

Well, I'm having a bad morning. I'm angry with myself, i'm fed up with myself, i'm disspapointed in myself, and i'm tired. I'm tired of this up-and-down yo-yo weightloss. Everyone else is achieving this and feeling good about thermselves and having makeovers....and I am failing miserably.

How can you go down two pants sizes and the new pants are already baggy, but you are at your highest weight? I am so FRUSTRATED!!!

I am unhappy with the way I look. I have acne like I am twelve, I have a too short haircut where I look like a boy, I have hair growing out of my chin, and I'm fat. Nothing is going good right now. School sucks, my hubby and I are fighting over everything, and my house is a dissaster. Nothing is going good for me at all.

Confession: I have eaten a LOT of crap and I haven't worked out in the morning in forever.

Cheer: I did try squash and cabbage this weekend and I didn't die!

Basketball Game

Yep. I said it. A basketball game.

I was in the Teacher vs. Student Basketball game yesterday. It is a game to get the kids and teachers more involved with each other. It is a big hit every year because we have some young male teachers who can dunk and do some crazy stuff. Well, I can't do any of that, but I do now how to dribble a ball and make a basket. I sign up for it every year because I think it's important for my kiddos to see me in a setting outside of the classroom.

There were only six women who signed up to play, so we had to take turns. Three men and two women per quarter. Our quarters were 5 minutes long and we played as many as we could fit in the time before school was out.

I was so proud of myself! I didn't make any baskets for my team.....but I was running up and down the court, fighting over balls with the other players, and reaching up for rebounds! I didn't have to sit down once during my time to play. I made it through all 5 minutes, three times! By the end of the game my shins were killing me, but my kiddos were so proud of me!!

I am proud of myself=)

Confession: I can't kick the sunflower seed habit=(

Cheer: I had Subway yesterday for lunch instead of giving in to the snack bar or pizza at school!!

Huge Weight

 A huge stress for me has been lifted off of me today. I am the Yearbook Advisor at my school and the books were delivered today!! Yeah!!! Now the next step is to get them all sold.

I notice that when I am stressed out my house starts to get a little messier, I start to get a little crabby...and this all effects how I eat and exercise. When my living room has toys all over the place I don't want to do my workout videos in the morning who wants to look at all of that while sweating like a pig? And when I have dishes all over the kitchen and computer desk, who wants to cook dinner and then blog about it looking at dirty dishes.

Basically, I am so ready for summer so I can get my life back in order. No more stresses of crappy kids attitudes, no more yearbook stress, and no more stress of getting home late and then having to cook and take care of the kids.

I know this summer will be awesome. Just 14 days left!!!

Confession: I had Jack in the Box for lunch yesterday and havent been doing my exercise like I should.

Cheer: I took my lunch today to work instead of hitting up the fast food with everyone!

Slept in

Yep, I slept in. Both mw and my kiddos are sick. Not sure what it is yet. They both have fever.

Yesterday started off really well and ended not so great. I had breakfast and snacked really good. I had a salad for lunch. And then dinner hit and we went somewhere to eat and I had a gigantic cheeseburger. Then when I got home I had a regular soda, a chcocolate bar, and some sunflower seeds.

Yuck.

Here is to a better day!! I know I can do this!!

And the winner is!!

Sorry guys! Life got so busy I forgot to post the winner of my favorites giveaway!!

I used a random number generator and the lucky winner is....

Tania from The Road Back to Being Me!!!

Tania, send me your mailing info to lgokey02@gmail.com and I will try to get it out this weekend!!

I hope to have a giveaway each month!! This is fun!!

Anyone out there?

So, I must be super boring or something because I went from having 10 comments...to have having 0 the last few posts....hmmm...but I am posting for me, not anyone else...so I will keep posting! LOL

Anyways, yesterday was a pretty successful day. I didn't pig out on junk food, I turned down dessert (crazy huh?) and I jogged/ walked 4 miles yesterday. If you haven't read my last post, I also lost 1.7 pounds this past week!

We have a hosue in the country that we bought a few years ago. It was a family farm that was about to go into auction because his great uncle had moved away without selling the house....and also not paying the taxes for 4 years. So, it was either put it up for auction....or my hubby coming in to save the day and buying the family farm for super cheap. Well, we went there yesterday to re-pipe the place. We have no running water. Did I mention no air condition either? LOL. We are working on fixing the place up. It is an old house out in the middle of nowhere and his great uncle just kinda left it there to rot.

The house sits about 4 miles from the main road and I thought how nice it would be for me to one day jog to the main road and do the little Rocky dance. So my sister-in-law mappe dout 1 mile and went for it. Yah, we didn't last too long. The road is red clay and has tons of rocks and uneven places. It was like running on sand. Good for the legs, but not good if you are trying to get to one mile. We made it to the 1 mile mark, but walked most of the way. And then we walked/jogged back home. Later I went out by myself and went the other direction and I did much better. I ran .5 miles, walked .1, and then jogged another .6 miles. Not too bad for not jogging in awhile.

Where are my comments?? LOL

Confession: We ate pizza last night after getting home late from the house.

Cheer: I worked out while we were in the country! I didn't pig out on snacks this weekend!

Weigh in Day!!

Starting Weight: 192.5
Current Weight: 190.8
Amount Loss: 1.7

Happy Mother's Day everyone!! Make sure you call your mothers today!!

So, I was going to have Monday's as my official weigh in day, but Mondays are so hard to remember. I chose Sunday because I can remember it before I have to leave for church. I lost 1.7 the first week back! I feel pretty good about the loss

Yesterday wasn't too bad for eating. The weekends are the hardest because we arent ever home for meal times. Yesterday I had Subway for lunch and then we had Church's chicken for dinner! I tried my hardest not to pig out.

Good News! My sister-in-law says she wants to start running with me! Today we are going out to my country house (yes we have a farm!) and yesterday we mapped it out so we know how far it is to certain spots. We live 4 miles form the road! That's a long way! So we figured out where one mile is and that is what we are going to do today. I am looking forward to having a buddy!

Confession: I had Church's chiken for dinner. That's it!!

Cheer: I lost 1.7 pounds this week! I also picked Subway as our choice of lunch yesterday!!

Good Morning!!

Good Morning and hello to all of the newbie followers! The number is growing pretty nicely!

This morning I weighed myself (not officially) and I have lost some. I want to ahve a bigger number so the next two days I want to be perfect. I want to try out my new elliptical machine. I haven't had a place to put it, but my hubby isn't home, so I am going to make room for it when he isn't here to tell me I'm doing everything all wrong=) LOL

Yesterday I was faced with a hard decision. Eat the healthy lunch I had brought, or give my money to a fellow teacher to go and buy Chick-Fil-A. I told her that I had already brought my lunch and I was going to eat that instead. I tried out the Nature's Own 100% Whole Wheat Sandwich Rounds with a Tablespoon of Peanut Butter, grapes, a little bit of chips, and a bottle of water. I felt full and happy that I had made the right decision. The Chick-Fil-A sandwiches are not what I am worried about, it is the fries!!

Anyways, I had a successfull afternoon, but then later on that evening we went to a buffet style restaraunt. I didn't do too bad.

How do you get through a buffet style place without eating everything in site? We can't avoid them for the rest of our lives!!

Confession: I had a donut (or two) when I got to school. I even had a regular soda (or two).

Cheer: I turned down lunch out and while watching tv last night I snacked on grapes instead of chips!

Breakfast Ideas

Breakfast ideas anyone?

I know that one of the biggest things for me is eating brekafast in the morning. The last couple of days I have been drinking a little yogurt smoothie drink and a piece of toast with PB or an egg. I used to get up early and fry an egg, but I just got kinda tired of eggs. They were delicious, but it was a lot of effort for something that doesn't last very long.

I like cereal, but I like the sugary cereal. I have hear that Fiber One has a great cereal, but if it is anything like the bars (which I LOVE) than I will be gassy all day long. Yep, the bars make my tummy really loud all day long and I have to go to the bathroom all day long. My sixth graders think it's pretty funny. LOL

So I guess I am asking for your breakfast ideas. Got any?

Confession: I didn't wake up early enough to workout this morning. I promise to workout this afternoon. Hopefully I will get to run outside.

Cheer: I am still motivated!

New Blog and a new outlook

So today was a pretty good day. I live in Houston and I went to a workshop at our baseball park today. The Astros play at Minute Maid Park and it was sooo nice today with the top open and the sun shining down. I fixed up my hair and my make-up and even wore a necklace, a chunky ring, and some beaded bracelets. I felt pretty good about myself.

I have a new outlook on life. Well, I guess you could say that my new outlook has returned. I am excited again about my journey and I am looking forward to my weigh in on Monday morning. How many of you weigh in naked? I did this morning (TMI) and I weighed less than I did with clothes on. I think I am going to start weighing in naked, LOL.

Some fo you may not know this, but I am going back to school to get my Masters in Library Science. I have always wanted to be a Librarian. Well, in the Fall semester I had this awesome professor who is known as the "Goddess of Young Adult Literature." I joked that I wanted to be her when I grew up. And it's true. She has authors coming to her for advice. I must be a major bookworm to think that this is cool. Anyways, she has a blog on Livejournal where she talks about different books out there for young adults. I started one there, but it became too much and wasn't very user friendly....so I decided to create one here! My blog is called Bookworm in Training. I would love for you to stop by and become a follower. Even a comment every now and again would be nice=) Reading is something I am very passionate about. I hope this blog will open new doors for me!

Confession: I had a few bites of chocolate cake at my workshop, I woke up early today but didn't get a workout in (rest day maybe?), and I have had a regular soda today.

Cheer: I did not eat my entire piece of gigantic cake today (even though it was tempting), I bought some new workout pants because mine had a big hole and I didnt want it to become an excuse not to work out (Size M!!), and I haven't been snacking after dinner!!

Emotional night

How many of you watch The Biggest Loser? It is one of my favorite shows. I didn't really start watching it until like the last 4 seasons, but I am hooked. Now I know what you are thinking...losing 15 pounds in one week is crazy, they have the best food ever, and they work out a little too much. But, to see someone go through this transformation is so emotional. I start weeping in the first five minutes!! I LOVE seeing people changing their lives for the good. It's a whole lot better than watching some of the other reality shows out there (Jersey Shore!). LOL
Anyways, why was this past episode sooo emotional for me? Well, it was makeover week. Back when I was 120 pounds in high school and my freshman year of college, I had a ton of clothes. I could wear anything that I picked off the rack and I looked hot. Now, shopping for me is picking something out and then having to put it back because it is too small. Or maybe my boobs are too big in the shirt and it stretches the fabric funny. I used to have all of the cool clothes. People used to ask me for fashion advice darn it! Now I just put on whatever is clean, put my hair up in a pony tail, and slip on the easiest shoes.

I don't want to be like that anymore!

I want to take pride in the way I look. So when I saw them shopping for their new bodies. Some of them had never been in a regular store before and they felt so good when they put the clothes on. Some of them had to go get a smaller size after trying on clothes! I want to do that!!

This season of the Biggest Loser is almost over. There are three episodes left. Don't worry though, in a couple of months a new season will start!

I almost forgot!! During the last hour of the show (its 2 hours long), I walked during the show and jogged during the commercials. About 15 minutes form the end of the show....sadly my treadmill died. It wouldn't speed up or slow down anymore and made some funny noises. =(

Confession: I had a hershey's bar, only got in 33 ounces of water yesterday, and ate a spicy chicken sandwich for lunch.

Cheer: I woke up early today, I worked out last night during the show, and I didn't break down and eat my hubbies sunflower seeds last night after dinner!

Day Two- Couples Counseling

This is Day 2 of waking up early and getting back into the routine I once had at the beginning of this journey. That was a time when I was actually seeing results and getting excited about never seeing this weight again. Well, that must have been the honeymoon phase of the journey...but instead of getting a divorce, I have decided to do couples counseling with myself. This is what the difference is than all the other times I have tried. I gave up on myself too early. I didn't have enough faith in myself to keep going.

Well, now I'm over the feeling sorry for myself phase. I realize that it was my bad choices that got me here. I am young and I have no medical problems to keep me from doing anything. I need to keep this up so I don't have any medical problems down the road. I am doing this for not only myself, but my kids too. My 4 year-old is riding his bike now and I have to jog a little to keep up with him. Now THAT is important to me. I don't want to hold him back and make him feel like he has to wait up for mommy.

Anyways, I will leave you with the workout video that I tried out this morning on my On Demand. I think it was really fun, but I only got like 9 minutes of the workout. I guess cause it's free. It is a dance series for like hip-hop, latin, and danceclub moves. It seemed pretty fun. I might buy the series. I just now realized that they have a blog too. They don't update very often, but oh well. I think I might need to work on my moves. I kinda looked a little silly following these sexy dancers.

My goal for tomorrow is to get in all of my 64 ounces of water! Baby steps!! LOL

Confession: We went out to dinner last night and I had Mexican food. I had a taco, a queso chip, and a tostada. Not too bad. The taco and tostada had mostly lettuce and tomatoes.

Cheer: I have woken up again two days in a row and I didn't snack (well, one banana) when I got home from eating out!

Day One.....again!!

Current Weight: 192.5
Goal Weight: 130

I feel like I am starting all over since I have gained weight since I have started this whole thing. I still am fitting into two sizes smaller jeans because of the inches I have lost, but I know that the weight is fat, not muscle. I can try and suger coat it, but that wouldn't be helping me.

Yesterday I said one of my goals was to wake up early....check! Do a workout video....check! And also eat breakfast...check! So far so good!! I know these little things are going to add up and pay off. I decided to do my workout video that I LOVE. It doesn't feel like exercise. It is more like dancing. It's videos like this that keep my excited about getting up early. I think I just need to buy the videos on Amazon.com so I can have them for the weekend.

Anyways, I wanted to say a quick thanks to everyone for sticking around and reading my blog. I promise to have more interesting things to say. I also promise to keep updated on your blogs as well. Some of my blogs I like havent been updated in weeks. Yuck. I am finding new blogs every day though!

Well, I gotta finish my breakfast and start gettting ready for work!! See yah tomorrow!!

Confession: I slept in 10 minutes....but I still got everything finished!! LOL

Cheer: I am eating breakfast and starting all over. I'm not quitting!!

Realization

How can I keep lieng to everyone when they ask me how my running is doing. Right now it doesn't exist, but I keep telling them "Oh, it's coming along." I mean like people I haven't seen in awhile, but have seen me on facebook talking about it or has heard it through friends are asking me. I feel like a failure. I feel like a poser. I men, people are asking me for advice at work on how to do this or cook that, and honestly I haven't cooked in my kitchen for two weeks. We will meet people for dinner...my hubbies parents will take us out...we ordered pizza last night!

I've also noticed that my blogging has almost dissapeared. This is the only thing that kept be going at the beginning. I noticed that when I stopped getting up early to blog and workout, that's when I started to slip.

So, what are my plans and goals for May?

Plan: Wake up early Monday-Friday to work out someway and blog. You guys need to help keep me on check with this!! Eat out only once every two weeks. This will require some serious planning.

Goal: My goal for May is to lose 6 pounds. Sounds simple enough. My body just doesn't drop 2 or 3 pounds a week. It never has, so 6 pound sthis month sounds like a good number to strive for.

Sorry I haven't been updating this blog very much. I can tell by loss of commenting, that my followers aren't following. So I am going ot try my best to make my posts a little more interesting.

Confession: I have been eating crap and not doing anything about it.

Cheer: I haven't given up. By now I would have just ignored it and moved on. I also worked out in the yard with my hubby laying grass squares. That was a pretty good workout!