Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Ususally I end my blogs with a confession and a cheer...well, this one is all a confession.


I have fallen off the wagon. I just havent fallen and then get up. It's the all out fallen and not sure if I can get up. All I want to do is go get in my shower and cry myself dry.

What's wrong with me?

This whole past week has been so stressful. With it being Spring Break and my normal routine gone, and then my mother-in-law being in the hospital. I have just been on a downhill slide. I have lost all intrest in working out. My living room floor is like a cemetary for bad food choices with McDonalds bags everywhere. I have had too many regular sodas that I can't even count. I have eaten chocolate almost every day. Not just one piece, like King Sized.

I don't know what's wrong with me. This is how it always happens. I am motivated for a few weeks and it all seems so new and great, and then I hit the wall. The wall of fear of failure, the wall of I don't care, and the wall of it doesn't matter what I do, I will always be this chunky.

I didn't want to weigh in on Tuesday because I know my horrible weekend choices were bad enough to make me gain back all of the 4 pounds I have lost.

I'm lost....hopeless...and eating as if tomorrow will be my last day.

We went to CiCi's pizza tonight. Big mistake. I ate a whole pizza all to myself. And get this. The pizza place is right next to a Weight Watchers store. The one I used to go to before I got bored and quit almost two years ago. I was so worried someone would see me walking into the CiCi's pizza. Every bite I ate tonight made me feel so sick.

Cheer: I wasn't going to include this...but...I will not quit. I won't let myself quit another attempt to get in better shape. Here's to a new tomorrow.


  1. We have all been there. You can't change what you have done, only what you are going to do. Forget about your slips and start fresh.

    You can do this.

    I hope you find your way to less stress soon.

  2. hey girl
    I can totally relate, isn't it fascinating to know that there are other people out there who feel the exact same way as you do? Because girl I have felt the exact same way as you, going for a couple weeks and then just quitting out of pure fear of failure thinking well I will just always look like this. But you CAN do it. I promise you can. Just stick to it. You do not have to completely cut out bad food or food you love because then you will binge. Have something once a week that you really love like pizza. Maybe try ordering it with a little less cheese or a thin crust but still eat it. Maybe go from a large to a medium, but do not cut out all things that are great because a binge will happen for sure. And if you have one week where you eat bad and do not work out, do not throw it all out the window. You CAN do it, and you will! Do not give up because of one bad week :)

  3. It was very brave of you to put this out there. Part of the hardest part of falling off the wagon is the shame and guilt. Hopefully by putting it out there you are truly able to wipe the slate clean and get back "on the wagon". I know I have felt the way you are feeling, I know how hard it can be to pull yourself out of the despair. Do not give up, you CAN do this! :) :) :)

  4. If you are like me, there is always an excuse you can find to eat bad. I had a bad day, I deserve this... but it leads to more and more...But I have tried to do it in bites now. Bite of chocolate, a couple fries form my kid's meals, finger the icing off the cake...

  5. I have experienced this same thing! The first step is confronting and admitting it. This you have done by writing this post! Now accept what you have done and PLAN AND PREPARE!!!! You can get back on the wagon ...you just need to catch up a little. Keep confessing, keep moving forward! Allison

  6. you are still doing great. you at least confessed your 'fall'. no matter what you are still inspiring to me!

  7. When I was in college, I had a semester where I failed every class. EVERY CLASS. I didn't know what to do with myself. I spent the entire summer sulking and slowly trying to pick up the pieces. I didn't know if I should even go back to school.

    I'm glad I did because I met my wife the following semester, got my grades up, and even made the dean's list before I graduated. If I hadn't gone back to school I wouldn't be nearly the man I am today.

    My point is this: Everybody falls. We shouldn't judge ourselves because we fell, we should judge ourselves on how we pick ourselves up.

    You are strong. I know you'll be able to pick yourself up and be a better person than you were before.


  8. No! Don't Quit! I did the same a week ago and I realized that I am worth getting back on the wagon....and YOU ARE TOO!

    You have been so supportive and there for me and I will be here for you! You can do it..WE can do it :)


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